a Soldier's blog

Sharing Gifts

Hey Everyone!  I am sorry it's been a while since I last posted.  I am filling in another position for a friend of mine, so am doing two jobs.  Needless to say, its been busy times here at the fob. 

I want to thank every family member, friend, acquaintance, and blog reader for sending items to me to hand out.  The adults and children thoroughly enjoyed receiving each and every item.  I am not sure who enjoyed it more, me or them, who knows?  Also, each guy in my platoon who went out on the missions got a chance to help the US give to the average person here.  The farmer who got some toys for his three children, the mother who received four goodie bags with school supplies for her kids, the old man who waited patiently for a winter coat, and all the children who received beanie babies, pencil, candy, school supplies,>>> THANK YOU SOO much for your generosity. 

I would list each person who sent items for the Iraqis, but the list would go on for pages and pages.  God knows who you are and personally saw each item you sent.  You might think you are an average American who lives and average life.  Well, that might be the case, but you are also a giver of yourself, which is far from average in this world. 

I am unsure when my time will end here in Iraq and really could not write about it even if I knew.  But, my time will end and I want to make sure no mail stays behind.   So, I ask that you cease in sending items at the end of July.  Sometimes mail gets here within three weeks, but sometimes months.  Heck, one of my guys got a valentines day card today in the mail.  Again, thank you sooooooooo much for supporting me here, and helping the Iraqi people as they strive for freedom, happiness, and liberty.

Poverty Thoughts

I started out my birthday morning with some quality one on One time.  It is so fitting that the day when we all expect to receive gifts (bdays), that I read about poverty: 

Not every Christian is given the call or the charism to heroic poverty; neither is any Christian excused from the gospel imperative of sharing his material resources with the poor (James  2:15-17).  John Woolman, a Quaker who died just before the American Revolution, wrote: "I found by experience that to keep pace with the actions of Truth, and never more but as that opens the way, is necessary for the true servants of Christ" (The Journal of John Woolman).  In the concrete circumstances of my life situation, what is the Lord Jesus Christ asking of me in the way of material poverty?  Desiring neither more nor less than Truth requires, what gesture (big or little) shall I make today as a sign of my unconditional trust in the Father?  The lofty principle of biblical poverty is realized on the pedestrian terrain of our daily experience.  16July Reflections for Ragamuffins.

Looking at His disciples, He said:

"Blessed are you who are poor, for yours is the kingdom of God."  Luke 6:20

Friday evening myself and four other troops in my platoon had prepped material gifts for Iraqis (pics above).  Go figure that God had taken my thoughts of me me me on my birthday, and given me another focus.  Sometimes we need reminders to see the trees and not just the forest.  Surely the Iraqis did not know that I went bearing gifts with a Christ loving heart.  But is it not the act of giving the love that penetrates the depths of our souls, rather than the material possessions shared?  Yes, its all just shared.  We really don't own anything in this life.  Did these acts of kindness representing America really penetrate their souls like it has mine?  I am unsure, and can only hope that God works ceasingly in their hearts like He does in mine. 

So, I continued my spirit filled morning as we loaded up our hummer with shoes, candy, clothes, beanie babies, and school supplies.  My guys were thrilled to get off the fob and help out Iraqis.  Many times we get wore out from having only human contact with each other.  I like my platoon and hanging out with them, but its nice to meet new Soldiers, Interpreters, or local nationals.  I enjoy seeing the expressions on their face as they speak Kurdish or Arabic to me.  I have no idea what they are really saying, but do have an idea by reading their body language.  Pain and exhaustion in their eyes is not uncommon.  I write a lot about seeing people smile here.  Well, its a univeral language in itself, and I can relate to smiling children when they run off with a new pair of shoes, or with an old man who stood patiently till I found a cold weather coat for him.  His very tan, wrinkled old face lit up like a Christmas tree when he saw what I was handing him.  I will never look and feel the same as I see others smiling.  We are simply all entitled to be happy and have the liberties to make life the best it can be for our families.  They are no different than a smiling college college student making his or her first new friend, a proud set of parents during a birth, or someone who just got promoted at their job.  Other than my genes and faith choice, I am no different than them. 

We unloaded the back of my truck and kids were going crazy as usual.  One boy was grabbing just a little too much so I had to get firm with him.  No worries, he got the message without me turning into crazy Shawn, haha.  One of our medics used the technic of showing them a needle and joking with them about getting a shot.  That really made them back off.  It was funny and the adults joined in on the laughter along with the kids who figured out he was joking with them.  Another medic on a different mission told the kids that he was hungry and he eats little children as a snack.  Yes, he made sure they knew he was kidding.  He is also 6'4" 310lbs, so they were just in awe seeing him anyway.  Boy, our medics are either nuts or really funny.  Its probably a combination, who knows, haha.  Once all of the supplies were given out, we headed back to the fob.  My boys talked about how much fun they had and that they can't wait to do it again.  The enemy still is cowardly and does not show his/her face.  IEDs, and car bombs are still the big threat here, so getting out on the roads provides a risk.  Even with that risk, my guys still want to help out Iraqis.  My platoon's function is maintenance, and most of the time we are working on keeping our fleet running.  So, if my guys thought the risk was not worth the reward, they could probably never leave the fob till they get home.  My guys think beyond their safety and want to make a difference in building this country.  bbb No, despite the news reports, we are not REbuilding here.  We are basically building from the ground up.  In my region of Iraq, Saddam killed over 5,000 Kurds in two weeks.  This was years ago and the scars still run deep.  We have a local national who works on and off our fob that I can share about.  Saddam's henchmen shot his brothers, his dad, and cut off his tongue.  He motions a lot and makes sounds trying to communicate.  He is a great guy and an extremely hard worker.   He will show the world that he is worth something, just like each Iraqi.  Is it worth it for the US to be here in Iraq helping these living breathing people?  Yes, it most definitely is.

"You only have what you give. It's by spending yourself that you become rich." Isabel Allende

Thanks so much to my wife, and ALL family and friends who made this the best Bday someone could have in Iraq.  Thank you to each of you sent shoes, clothing, school supplies, beanie babies, and candy.  The Iraqis I met were thrilled by your generosity and effort!

30 in Iraq

While for most of us it is still Friday, July 15th 3:01PMCST, it is now Saturday, July 16th 12:01AM, for Shawn in Iraq. On this 16th day of July, my husband turns 30 years young! While I had imagined spending this day with him and throwing him a party to celebrate this birthday, I can only do what technology will allow me to do by putting a posting on his blog to ask everyone to help wish Shawn a Happy 30th Birthday!!!

Shawn--Happy 30th Birthday from your girls! We love you very much and cannot wait for the day we are reunited. I was unable to throw you a 30th birthday party like I had previously planned but you can look forward to a welcome home party celebrating your return and all that was missed in 2005. I will be celebrating for you in my heart on this special birthday! You are missed in my daily life and even more on this day. Please continue to stay strong, stay focused and continue to walk with Our Creator. I am so very proud of you and everything you do. Thank you for being such a strong and loving husband!! You are in my prayers unceasingly! YOU ARE MY HERO!!! I LOVE YOU VERY MUCH~~TIFFANY

Carys and Tegan send their wet sloppy doggie kisses to you!!

A Break

This past weekend I got a break from the normal routine at my fob.  I went to another fob for a time of rest and recuperation.  Was I successful in having time off and enjoying it?  Well, I was able to get an hour long massage for $34, so that was the best part.  I had real pizza for lunch one day, subway twice, and burger king once.  A Sergeant who was also there from my squadron played me in ping pong.  We each won one game and called it a day because we started breaking a sweat (even in the A/C).  The fob that I went to was even less scenic than my fob so no pics for ya, sorry.  The tent we stayed in was hoooooot.  About 6 hours during the day it was 91-95 degree in the tent.  Yes, that is with the A/C on.  There simply were not enough units to cool the tent due to the 125 degree heat.  The generator went down for a while one day and within minutes it jumped to 108 degrees in the tent.  Lets just say we quickly found another place to hang out.  It was an interesting trip back to my fob.  There are stray dogs and cats that wander this country.  One stray kitten some how found its way in the back of a cargo truck.  It rode all the way in the back without our troops knowing it was there.  Once it was found, they noticed it was scared and shaking.  Due to General Order number 1, we can't have any pets here, so the guys knew we could not keep it.  We also did not want to leave it stranded at another fob when its mother might be wandering our fob.  So, it rode back in the safe hands of a Sergeant First Class who was the patrol leader.  Both he and I played babysitter and held the kitten for the ride.  She was still a bit scared and dehydrated, but after some water and comforting, all was well.  Even with the A/C on it was still over 100 degrees in the vehicle.  She found the only cool place in the vehicle.  Once she wrapped herself around my water bottle, which initially had ice in it, she fell asleep.  She was cute, but I am still only a dog fan.  Overall it was an OK trip and I did get a break from platoon leader life.   

This week has gone OK.  Nothing too exciting happened on the fob, and thankfully no one has been hurt too bad or killed.  I do have one troop that fell from a guard tower (inside) over a week ago and hurt his back.  The last update on SPCt is that he went to Germany for an evaluation, then to the states, and is now at home recovering.  I am unsure if he will rejoin us here.  Despite his efforts to try and get back to his fellow brothers in the platoon, hopefully the Army will decide he should stay home and continue his recovery.  Another one of my troops (SSGc) found out that his wife is having brain surgery, so he left immediately.  Please keep them in your prayers.  Thanks.

All in all, still have all my boys alive and kicking.  My Troop commander here has already written two letters to grieving families and we want to keep that number from rising.  Yes, he told me it was the hardest thing he has done in his military career.  Thank you to the hundreds of motorists and pedestrians that pull over and pay respects when the troop funeral processions drive by.  From what I heard, the last two processions brought part of east Tennessee to a stand-still.

John F. Kennedy
"The problems of the world cannot possibly be solved by skeptics or cynics whose horizons are limited by the obvious realities. We need men who can dream of things that never were."

Passing Time 2

I referenced a book in the first passing time post, but figured many of you might not have read The Carpenter and the Unbuilder story book.  Its a great quick read compiled of many spiritual related stories.  The one below is the first part of three about the carpenter and the unbuilder.  The book starts out with this story, has a bunch more, then the second C and Unb story, more stories, and then finishes with the last part of the C and Unb.  I highly recommend it.  Enjoy!

THE CARPENTER AND THE UNBUILDER by David M Griebner

Once upon a time there was a man living in a certain kingdom who received an invitation from his king to come to dinner.  Something inside him was excited as never before by the invitation. Something was afraid as well. Would he have the right clothes to wear? Would his manners be good enough for his lord’s table? What would they talk about when they were not eating? Above all, the man was frightened by the long journey to the king’s castle.

So what did the man do? Well, he spent one month deciding what to wear and buying the clothes he did not already have.  He spent two months learning the rules of etiquette and practicing them as he ate.  He spent three months reading up on all the latest issues faced by the kingdom so he would have something to say.

Finally, he faced the journey itself. By trade the man was a carpenter.  He built small houses and extra outhouses and garages better than anyone else.  After he had packed the clothing and food he thought he would need for the journey, he had room for only a little more.  So he decided to pack a few tools, enough to permit him to build adequate overnight shelter on the journey.  Then he started out.

The first day he traveled through the morning and early afternoon, stopping only to eat a bit of lunch.  Then he set about constructing a rough shelter to spend the night in.  After a few hours labor he had a small, safe, dry place to sleep.  The next morning, as he was about to start out again, he looked at the shelter he had built.  He began to notice places where it could be made better. So instead of resuming the journey right away, he began to make improvements on his little dwelling. Well, one thing led to another, garage to kitchen to study and indoor plumbing, and so on.  Soon he had pretty much forgotten about the journey.

Meanwhile, the king began to wonder about the man. And so, as kings are able to do, he arranged for another person who was also traveling to the dinner to stop by and see how the man was coming along.

When he found him, the carpenter was living in his second house. He had sold the first one to someone, remembered the invitation, and moved on for a day or so.  However, soon he had settled in and built a bigger and better house on the profits he had made from the sale of his first house.  The carpenter was only too happy to invite the visitor in for lunch, but while he was content to accept the offer of food, the visitor preferred to eat out in the yard under a tree.

“Is there a reason why you don’t want to come in?” asked the carpenter.”

“Why yes” replied the other. “You see, I am on a journey to have dinner with the king of our land. It is important for me to stay on the journey. Perhaps after lunch, you would like to come with me?”

“What you say sounds familiar to me,” said the carpenter. “I think I too received an invitation to have dinner with the king, but I have been a little bit uncertain of the way.”

“I know” said the stranger, “I was uncertain once as well, As a matter of fact, once I was a carpenter just like you. I too wanted to build safe places along the way to stay in. One day, another fellow on the journey helped me to learn how to unbuild instead of to build.  He helped me to leave the home I had been living in and trust the journey itself.  I was worried about following the right path.  He told me there were a number of paths that would lead to the dinner. The king had set it up that way, and the king had also set up warnings along the wrong paths.  The important thing was just to continue to put one foot in front of the other with love and trust.  I was also worried about what I had left behind. To this he said that the king had seen to it that everything worth saving would be at the castle waiting for me.”

“What you say is certainly of comfort. It helps to know that you have been just like me,” said the carpenter.

“Well then, why don’t we let go of this house and get on with the journey?”

“I don’t know. Maybe. Can I sleep on it?”

“I suppose.”

“Can I fix a bed for you?”

“No,” said the visitor, “I will stay out here under the tree. It is easier to notice the wonderful things the king has put along the way when you aren’t looking out from inside something you have erected to protect yourself.”

The unbuilder waited outside all night.  The next morning the carpenter had indeed decided to resume the journey. Together they prepared to set out.

“Well,” said the carpenter, “which way will we go?”

“Which way seems right to you?” asked the unbuilder.

“I’m not sure.”

“I’ll tell you what. Let’s just sit here for a few minutes and think hard about the king. Remember the stories you have been told about him. Remember how much he loves you. Remember how much you love him. When you have remembered as clearly as you think you can, consider the paths that lie before you and see which seems to best satisfy your longing for, and remembering of, the king.  Let your desire to be with the king become more powerful in you than your uncertainty and fear about choosing the right or wrong path.”

Silently they sat through the morning in the carpenter’s front yard. Slowly it began to seem as though they were already on the journey. As that feeling grew and grew, it suddenly didn’t seem like any decision needed to be made. It just happened. With a deep sense of freedom they were off.

Many of the days went just like that, new steps out of silent beginnings and pure desires. They simply waited until the sense of journeying wrapped around even their waiting, and then they were off without worrying overmuch whether they were on the “right” path or not. In the stillness of their hearts they made room for the path and the path seemed to come to them.

Of course the carpenter still felt the need to build a home from time to time. The unbuilder made sure he understood what he was doing and then let him do it if he really wanted to. While the carpenter labored, the unbuilder, his guide and friend, would continue to practice the silent waiting in the yard, under the tree, and soon they would unbuild yet another house and begin the journey again.

In the meantime the king kept the food warm, which he was very good at doing.

The 4th

The 4th of July in Iraq was one that I will always remember, just one that I don't want to repeat again by being in Iraq, ha ha.  It was a good day here because my guys were able to have some down time.  The day started off great with a phone call to my wife who was at my sister's house in Arkansas.  I got a chance to chat with my Sweetie, and each family member who was available.  Its good to hear voices that you have not heard in over six months.  I easily get choked up in moments like that.  Funny how this place can harden you and soften you up at the same time.  I have never been one of those guys who is too proud to cry, but keep it to myself and God for spiritual reasons.  Basically, I cry out for His help and not try not to rely solely upon myself. 

After I chatted with my family, I came back to our hooch and fell back to sleep.   Wow, that was sooo nice.  I still had a meeting that morning, but my supervisor here told me to skip it, and he would cover my portion.  I woke back up at 10:30 and my boys were already cooking.  SPCb, SGTs and SGTl had already fed the guys going on guard duty, and had more steaks, baked potatos, baked beans, and onions ready the rest of us.  The steaks were not super quality steaks, but were great nonetheless.  After a special marinade including near beer, they tasted quite good.  The baked potatos were excellent along with the baked beans, which were made by SGTs.  Its one of his specialties.  Our guys take particular pride in looking after the Iraqi Army soldiers who work along with us.  Each day our guys rotate who buys lunch for other guys on guard duty, and the IA solider.  This day was no different in that we made a plate for the IA soldier working with us.  I was told he asked what the meat was made of, and when we said beef, he was so happy.  We want to make sure each IA soldier that works with us leaves with the knowledge that we US Soldiers want to see them succeed and be taken care of.  When I go visit my guys working guard duty, I take them cold water and sometimes a snack.  I make sure each time to take an extra bottle for the IA troop. 

We all sat back and enjoyed the 'stuft' feeling, and then a RAMBO marathon was started.  Needless to say, the room was packed as Sly showed how tough he was.  I figured the marathon might switch to Rocky after that, but was releaved to see everyone had their stallone fill, and went their own way for the evening.  Some of us played each other in Blackhawk down, and two of my guys ended up working on a vehicle that was brought to our hooch. 

I ended up having my own movie marathon.  I watched Sniper, Sniper 2, and Sniper 3.  Tom Berenger is the main character and all I could think of was how nice it was to see trees in the movie.  Its an OK series of movies, and others had plans to watch all three once I was done.  Just when I thought the day was over, we heard a bang.  We found ourselves outside watching flares and star clusters in the FOB.  There were not that many shot off, so we were not wasteful, but at least they were simulated fireworks.  Red, white, and green lights lite the sky up as a few brush fires got started when they hit the ground.  Our engineers were in action soon after that with a dozer and SEE tractor.  The fireworks were definitely not as good as ones at home, but my guys appreciated the effort made by some, even though many got their 'buts chewed' for it. 

I want to thank all of you who support us over here.  Emails, blog comments, letters, and cards were all very appreciated by us.  In the end, its another day down, and one day closer to going home. 

HAPPY 4TH!!!!

The Serenity Prayer

God, grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change,
courage to change the things I can,
and the wisdom to know the difference.
Living one day at a time,
enjoying one moment at a time,
accepting hardship as the pathway to peace;
taking, as He did, this sinful world as it is,
not as I would have it;

trusting that He will make all things right
if I surrender to His will;
that I may be reasonably happy in this life,
and supremely happy with Him forever
in the next

Reinhold Neibuhr

Rocky Road

Rocky Road..  No, not the ice cream, but another kind of rocky road.  Life here reflects traveling on a rocky road in so many ways.  Not only are most roads not paved (some being worked on), but each situation offers resistence in some way.  Yes, a rocky road is one you can drive, walk, or ride a bike on, but it can also easily give you a flat tire or a turned ankle.  Iraqi people don't know what life is like on a smooth road where you have so many turns you can venture on to.  When I get home, I will think about them as I pass turns while driving. 

Also, the mental road here is no doubt rocky.  We have similar routines each day.  Some are routines that we hope to never repeat after this deployment.  Fellow troops moving on in death, sadness and despair as we mourn them, being away from our loved ones for so long, our hope for the Iraqi people in their plight for liberty which we take for granted, living here so close to others that the 'funk' gets passed around over and over, tempers, frustration, power struggles, and many things we have no control over. 

Despite the rocky road, we press on in the hope that liberty will prevail.  If we don't help others in the world, then who will?  For those who disagree with me, just please continue to stay home and take care of your affairs.  I have no bitterness towards anyone, and when someone downs our mission here, I feel even more of an obligation to share freedom with others.   The 1,700+ troops who have died here will not have died in vain.  Someone commented in my blog that if I die here, that it will be for nothing.  Interesting that someone who is not here, and probably never was, can say that and feel so sure its true.  I am a big boy, so comments like that roll off my back.  Not only are you taught in basic training how to defeat the enemy, but also how to control your attitude and frustrations.  I really feel for those in previous wars who came home and were called names like 'baby killer'.  Have you noticed major wars early in the century were pretty much black and white?  Have you noticed that now many wars are grey?  Why is this?  Maybe its because we are acting now, before it gets black and white and people like Hitler don't get to a point where they can take over the world.  Did you know we are the 9th largest military in the world, and 7 of the top 9 are not necessarily our friends?  Just food for thought. 

I think a lot here about my spiritual life and where I am with the Lord.  Its also been a rocky road in my soul.  Sometimes He and I walk together in my journey, and sometimes I lose sight of Him and keep trucking through life with no compass.  If you have read the story book, The Carpenter and the Unbuilder, I have felt like the Carpenter just as he built a home along the way.  I do feel comforted today by the fact that I was chosen by God to walk this rocky road in life. 

Below is from my morning devotional book..

HE CHOSE US

Through water and the spirit the disciple of Jesus has been bonded to his elder Brother, entered into God's family, become a son of the new covenant, and been given immediate access to the Father's lap.  "Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ.... Before the world was made, he chose us in Christ, to be holy and spotless, and to live through love in his presence, determining that we should become his adopted sons, through Jesus Christ" (Eph 1:3-4). 

The problem is:  either we don't know it; we know it but don't accept it; we accept it but are not in touch with it; we are in touch with it but do not surrender to it.

"He predestined us to be adopted as his sons through Jesus Christ, in accordance with his pleasure and will."  Epehsians 1:5

Which one are you? 

1. Don't know you are chosen?

2. You know you are chosen but don't accept it?

3. You accept it, but are not in touch with it?

4. You are in touch with it, but not surrendering to it?

Either one, Jesus is under a tree waiting patiently for you.  Yes, He also has a glass of cold water for you.